Not me, for a change

Alright, so today I'd like to discuss a different kind of situation. I had an encounter (via text) with a person who has been my friend for several years. Her and her boyfriend, and me and my boyfriend hang out and enjoy each other's company. It was one of the few friend groups where we all get along and can share things and be honest without really offending the other. However, everyone has their faults, their issues. But as friends we just brush it off and accept it.

My friend's issue is...well.. there are several... so I'll cover the ones that are relevant:
1. She has severe anxiety and won't do anything about it. So much so that she can't eat normal foods because it upsets her stomach so much.

2. She is at a crossroads in life as she just graduated college - she doesn't know what she wants from life, maybe even doesn't want to be with her boyfriend anymore but doesn't have the balls to tell him.

3. She exaggerates and overreacts to...pretty much everything.

4. Once she has a scenario in her head that is absolutely and positively the only way it happened. It is very difficult to change her mind.

5. She holds grudges like nobody I've ever seen.

Now, this all sounds like it makes a great friend, huh? She has good qualities as well, but for the sake of providing background information about what happened between us, this is all I will give you. My boyfriend and I accept her for who she is and therefore listen when she has an exaggerated story to tell, sympathize with her and listen some more. It is just a part of who she is. We accept this and go with the flow.

As for the reason to why the encounter happened yesterday it goes all the way back to a little before Halloween. We all decided we were going to hang out. I wanted to go somewhere.. like a bar.. or something different from what we ALWAYS do. Apparently that idea didn't go over well because it was decided to hang out at her boyfriend's parent's house. Fun. They all wanted to dress up. I however, made it VERY clear that I don't really enjoy doing that and wouldn't be dressing up - especially if we weren't. going. anywhere. My boyfriend on the other hand was mildly intoxicated at the time and became extremely gung-ho about the dressing up idea. Yes, he made it sound like we would dress up despite the fact that I made myself clear.

Halloween. It just so happened I spent the day of Halloween with another friend. Our football teams were playing a game against one another. My boyfriend had to work until 8 or something close to. While we are hanging out my friend texts me "You'd better be wearing a costume tonight", to which I would have replied, "Yeah.. I got a tiara and that's it". BUT my football friend picked up my phone adn texted her back saying I would be the Impossible Quiz..... its a quiz online... that she didn't know about yet still replied "Sweet!" to. A while later the two of us make the journey to her boyfriend's parent's house. His dad answered the door and greeted us. I told him I was the Cougar princess - Coug t-shirt and tiara in place. I then entered the kitchen where I was greeted by everyone normally except my friend who yells out "I knew you weren't going to dress up!" I brushed it off because I lamely was and also had told her before I don't really do Halloween. It does not stop there. I try to make conversation with people as I normally would. All the while, my friend makes bitchy, rude, ruthless comments directed at only me for not having a costume on.

Am I usually a nice person? Yes. Would I normally have explained myself? Yes. But in this situation I didn't even have time to register what was going on before I felt personally attacked and too uncomfortable to be there, let alone join in the conversation. So I sat quietly.. and waited patiently for my boyfriend who would at least be able to retort something back since he would not be dressed up either.

He called me from outside the house and I told him what had happened. He told me I could just walk out the door and we would leave. But I knew he wanted to see Tyson and had been looking forward to a fun night even though he was still sick. I also assumed she would make another rude remard when he came in and that he would have the courage to say something back. He came in and she said not another word about how lame I was for not having a real costume. He also pulled her boyfriend aside and asked what had been going on and how I felt.. pretty close to tears.. Her boyfriend was kind enough to apologize for her behavior and so I was ready to let it go and continue the night in a better mood. In fact.. the funny thing is... everyone seemed in a better mood. My friend was nice and friendly to me - her normal self. We played beer pong and were even on the same team. I thought everything was settled. Because seriously.. it was just Halloween. And it was just the 4 of us. Really.

Unbeknownst to my boyfriend and me, the reason we hadn't seen them much besides a night at wings where they were both uncomfortably and very noticeably awkward, was because she was STILL upset about Halloween! 2 months later! Wow.

Our encounter was her texting me saying why she was mad and how I lied to her and she spent money on her costume and blah blah blah. So I calmly texted back that I was sorry for the confusion on Halloween, but that I didn't feel like I had personally lied to her - Matt had gotten excited. Of course it was not good enough for she wants me to admit that I'm a terrible person and did a terrible thing. She actually had the audacity to say the situation made her "feel uneasy about hanging out" with us. Wow again. It was just Halloween... nowhere. I refuse to tell her I am sorry for being a terrible person, and keep repeating that I am sorry there was confusion. But it is no good. And her boyfriend who knows the situation is stupid, heard the reasons behind the confusion and talked it out with Matt hasn't done anything to calm her down or make her realize that this is STUPID. So we are screwed because he won't stand up and contradict her. Fantastic.

Not only does this get my blood absolutely boiling, but now I do not think I will ever feel that comfortable around her even if it does get resolved. Way to burn a bridge and ruin a great friendship over the smallest, stupidest thing ever. Leave it to her, its what she does best.